These are shitty things you do, A LOT, which bother me, quite a bit:
- Post pictures of some really rich meal you’re eating and add captions like “this is why I’m fat” or “#fatass”. Fat people don’t eat like that all the time, if we did we wouldn’t maintain a steady weight - we’d always be blowing up, like when Violet turns into a blueberry in Willy Wonka? Also, you’re putting your weird food hangups/guilt on us, the fat people who already get enough bullshit just living our lives. Why not tag it #greed #wealthycapitalistmeals or #northamericanprivilege? #wastefulness #sixpigsdiedforthis
- Say things like “I feel fat” when you mean “I feel unattractive” “I ate too much” or “I am bloated today”. Fat is a state of being, not a feeling. If you actually feel fat when you’re not, that’s a disorder called body dysmorphic disorder, for which you should seek treatment. When you look at me, a fat woman, and say “UGH I FEEL FAT” you might as well be saying “You being fat should feel terrible all the time, go lose weight or kill yourself trying.”
- Ask “does this make me look fat?” Guess what, assholes - everything I wear makes me look fat. So not only is it incredibly insensitive and rude to say, it’s an extra slap in the face to ask ME, actual fat person. If you and your other insecure thin people friends want to sit around and talk about your “belly pooch” or your “love handles”, go right ahead but please don’t subject the rest of us to it.
- Post about your eating & exercise plans using fat-negative descriptions of yourself. “No more fatass self in 2013!” “Feeling gorgeous now that I’m not fat!” etc. If you are healthier and more fit, great. I am happy that you’re taking care of your body. But please don’t shame me and my fatness in the process. I didn’t ask to be tacked on to your baggage, thanks. And when you gain it all back, rest assured I will feel a healthy amount of schadenfreude.
- Use photos of fat people as a gag. Enough said. Same goes for hilarious “novelty” postcards, birthday cards, etc that use fat people as a joke. Tagging friends in a picture of some fat stranger. Stop that. You’re an asshole. Seriously, just stop. It’s hurtful.
- Talk about how you used to be fat as some sort of “cred”. I don’t care.Also, former fatness does not give you the go-ahead to make judgment statements about fat people - “When I was fat I ate fourteen tacos every day!” cool, great that you had that experience. Now remember how we’re all different people and your experiences do not speak for mine? Thank you. Even if I DO eat 14 tacos a day (has never happened, sadly) - that is my choice which has nothing to do with you or your bogus judgements. Eating and morality are two different things. Please don’t confuse them in your quest to feel superior to your “old self” (note: you are still the same person just with less fat).
- Related to that - don’t tell me how you lost weight if I don’t ask. Don’t go through all the restrictions you put yourself through, the exercises you did, the caloric intake, the protein powders, the carb-free lettuce wraps. I didn’t ask! I don’t care. I don’t mind if people want to or choose to lose weight. Walking around as a fat person is not an open solicitation for you to tell me about this diet tea that you lost 20lbs with. I don’t care. I don’t fucking care. Let me clarify that last point - I don’t fucking care about your diet.
- Say things like how miserable, useless, ugly, stupid, etc you USED to be when you were fat, but now you feel great. Yes, I’m sure you did feel all of those things when you were fat, because you live in a culture that hates fat people and wants us all to feel that way. Still, do you really think it’s cool to put it all on your adipose tissue? Because those of us who remain fat do not need your hate speech about our bodies. And we don’t necessarily need to hear it more than we already do from television, films, the internet, advertisements, product packaging, and basically every other type of media we engage with every day of our lives. Fat people are just as worthy of admiration, caring, support, friendship and love as anyone else.
- Dismiss people (especially women) by saying “they’re so FAT!” or “EW did you see how much weight she gained, she looks DISGUSTING” or “She should NOT be wearing that until she loses some weight”. Wow. Just, wow. I can’t tell you how often I hear this, and you wouldn’t believe the mental gymnastics I have to do to EVERY TIME just to remind myself you’re a person with your own insecurities and not a complete waste of human flesh. Think about it for one minute.Take some quality about yourself which is morally neutral - say, your eye color. Now imagine that every time your friend saw someone with your eye color they screamed “EWW that is so NASTY no one wants to see that. Put on some sunglasses you blue-eyed bitch!”
- If you see me eating salad, veggies, fruit, whole grains, a light snack, or drinking water, please do not declare me a “GOOD GIRL!” That is so gross, so patronizing, makes so many fucking judgments and assumptions. Just shut up. Don’t comment on what fat people eat in any way, how about that? Especially if they’re strangers. It’s none of your damn business and I’m sure you’ve eaten tons of unhealthy meals in the past. Your pat on the head is condescending, not affirming. Your opinion matters NOT AT ALL.
- Please don’t tell me creepily how “into” fat people you are. Please don’t make weird salacious implications about the types of fucking you can do to fat rolls. Please don’t say “pushin for the cushion” and please don’t imply that you sleep with women who are fat because “it’s easier”. You are gross and vile.
Overall, just love & respect the fat people in your life the same way you would anyone else, keep your insecurities and body hangups out of it, ok?
And to all my fat babes and dudes, go on with your fat selves. You’re great. Have fun with it. After all, can skinny people do this?
DIDN’T THINK SO.